So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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