dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
