You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
