Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
