Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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