We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it hurts more in the daytime
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
