I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
