At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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