And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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