so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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