For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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