oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
