hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize