How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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