i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
