Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
