i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
