Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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