I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
