hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
