How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
