The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
