As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need a beard to bite.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
