Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
