I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Randomize
