I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
