told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
