im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
