I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can I color on your dick again?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize