My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Watching her eat just hurts me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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