TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
