his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
