Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize