I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
