My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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