U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize