You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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