I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
