Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
