You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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