just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
