After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
