Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize