omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
