He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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