Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
