My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
