I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
