I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
