he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
