some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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