Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
