I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
