Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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