In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
